The Internet Diversion Portal

When you begin to learn the details about covert hypnosis, you must just trust yourself and your ability to use them. Here’s how: Try not to over-analyze it. Don’t think about what it’s supposed to do. Instead, trust yourself and your ability to apply the tools you’ll be learning as you progress through this article, and just let your unconscious mind do the rest. You see, I noticed after I just started using the techniques and stopped worrying about whether they would work or not, I experienced better results.
It’s probably because I wasn’t thinking about what could be, shouldn’t be, won’t be, or is… I just held the thought in my mind about what I’d like to accomplish, and turned it over to my unconscious mind to take care of. Like this article for example. When I wrote this article, I sat and just wrote. But before I did that I imagined certain things. In my mind, I thought about you, dear reader and the impressions I’d like to make upon you as you read my articles. I imagined that you not only learned the best kept secrets to covert hypnosis, but you became inspired. I imagined being famous because of this articles because it’s so down to earth, easy to apply and extremely powerful. But even more so, I imagined that these articles would just “fall together” in its own unique way as I wrote it. That you, as you read it from front to back, by the time you finish reading it, you walk away with a power far greater than any power you could’ve ever imagined or hoped for.
I want you, dear reader, to be my friend. And the interesting part about me doing this is it turned out exactly the way I had planned. Comments come pouring in about how these articles has had positive impacts in people’s lives. And that makes me feel good. How do you suppose I was able to accomplish all this? I simply held the thoughts in my mind so that they came true.

Remember Scotty on Star Trek? Perhaps it’s just my recollection from childhood or perhaps he actually said it frequently: When asked by Captain Kirk to push the ship’s engine hard, he’d say in that pseudo-Scottish accent, “Cap’n, I can’t push it any harder. I think it’s going to blow!“

In workplace conflict, how do you know when it’s escalating to the point it’s going to blow? And at what point should you intervene?

Know How to Identify Constructive Conflict

Loud or intense conflict is not necessarily destructive conflict. While it’s reasonable to expect a certain level of decorum in the workplace, keep in mind that the degree of emotion expressed in conflict is due, in part, to cultural upbringing and socialization. If you intervene too early in a conflict that’s still constructive, then you risk getting in the way of the participants working it out themselves and the learning and development that comes from that.

Some hints that the conflict is still constructive include:

• There’s forward movement in the conversation-even if it’s unfriendly, they still seem to be making progress and continuing to explore and negotiate.
• Those involved seem reasonably comfortable with the degree of intensity and aren’t experiencing it as coercion.
• The things being expressed may be difficult to hear but are not intended to inflict harm or intimidate.

Recognize Warning Signs of Destructive Conflict

Destructive conflict will often include a number of these signs:

• The players have become rigid in their positions, so dug in and entrenched that they’re spinning they’re wheels.
• Direct communication between the parties is diminishing or absent. They may be using a third person as a go-between or are avoiding each other entirely.
• The dispute seems to have become more about defeating the other person than about the initial issues.
• The dispute has begun to involve others, as the players look to people around them for support, sympathy or power.
• Regular work or daily life is disrupted and the parties are losing time and energy to the conflict itself.
• One or more of the people involved seem to view almost everything the other does through a filter of mistrust, suspicion or threat.
• Retaliation or getting even has become important and attempts at coercion are becoming more frequent.

Beware of Adapting the Organization to the Conflict

It’s not uncommon for organizations to try adapting around the conflict. Reporting structures are changed, job descriptions and assignments altered, communication channels modified. These approaches have merit when those involved in the conflict are employees you want to keep on board, when the adaptations don’t create other problems in the organization, and when the modifications don’t simply allow the conflict to go underground, which usually leads to trouble in the long run.

There are times when it benefits the organization to try sorting out the conflict for real. When organizations choose this route, you demonstrate commitment to the great creativity that comes from well-managed conflict, to employees’ growth and development, and to building the kind of enduring work relationships that contribute to a satisfying work environment. While such commitment may take more organizational effort on the front end, it usually results in significant long-term savings of time, energy, and productivity.

You can choose to try working through the conflict with your human resources department or other skilled personnel. There are times it’s worth hiring a professional, confidential mediator or dispute resolution consultant to pick up where most human resources personnel aren’t trained to trek.

Dr. Tammy Lenski guides strategic dialogue, trains and coaches individuals and organizations to create terrific work environments by transforming conflict into opportunity. Her New Hampshire-based firm, Lenski Strategic LLC has a track record of successful service to business executives, entrepreneurs, organizations, colleges and universities, court programs, families and community groups nationwide. Women around the world subscribe to Tammy’s blog, Strategic Conversations, to learn how to do conflict better at work and home.