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Many of us seek consolation in the words of Frank Sinatra, “I did it my way.” I say many of us because I feel this trap has snared more than just me. Oh, it is a trap, alright, a way to defend our defiance, combat accountability, and excuse our own stupidity.

Maybe, we don’t even say it aloud if our inflated egos and economic attainments have enabled us to dupe ourselves and fool a few others? Well, wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could learn from the mistakes of others rather than only our own?

Scripture says, “There is a way that seems right to a man but the path thereof leads to death and destruction.” The Bible is chucked full of examples of foolish men who learned that their ways didn’t work, while God’s way invariably did, at least, for those who were still alive and willing to make life-course corrections.

The good news is that this readily available wisdom applies to me. I am still alive. Multiple Sclerosis has forced me to make some life-course corrections too. Best of all, I have been given a chance to pause, reflect on my previous mistakes, and admit my fallibility both in sound judgment and in my treatment of others.

So, now I write some of the understandings that I have been led to in Free Reprint articles and have published a mystery novel, For Sale By Owners:FSBO, which discloses other mistakes too many unthinking and “did it my way” people make. I selected the novel format because it allows me the freedom to create hypothetical scenarios and fictional characters to expose real dangers.

Here is an unsolicited e-mail I received from one reader:

—–Original Message—–
From: f.bush
To: RUSS MILES
Sent: Wed, 22 Dec 2004 13:05:45 -0500
Subject: Your Novel

Hi Russ,

I’ve just finished, in your words, “a very good read”.

The name of the book is “FSBO” which I enjoyed thoroughly.

You covered it all, bureaucracy, politics, sex, drugs, crime and day-to-day Real
Estate activity.

You have a talent that MS can’t touch.

Even though I have Master’s in journalism and communications, and have read a lot, I think you could teach many published writers a thing or two about story telling.

I hope to hear more from you. Keep up the good work.

Very Best Regards!

Frank Bush

Coming from a person that I have never met, I felt my work was appreciated. At least, the reader did not find the novel boring. If you too read FSBO, I hope you will also send me your comments.

As one who has had to revise my own thinking about many things, I can say I am truly thankful that I have time to reflect, implement more life-course corrections, make some amends, and draw refreshment from the wells of others who have taken their time to write and publish understandings gleaned from life-lessons. By so doing, less of life’s lessons need be “Lessons Learned Hard.”

Russ Miles is author of the novel, For Sale By Owners:FSBO. A “Seasoned Real Estate NAR® Broker,” disabled by Multiple Sclerosis, writes books & articles on varied subjects. Google russ miles FOR SALE BY OWNERS:FSBO ISBN 0-595-28703-4,in trade paperback, is available by phone or Internet:1-800-Authors to order direct! Adobe e-book & hard cover editions also available FSBO at Amazon.com at Barnes and Noble and other fine booksellers. Comments: MilesRuss@Gmail.com.[Visit Comments (0)

Have you ever noticed how people become frantic when their routines are taken away?

It is commonplace to hear stories about retirees who go into a funk because they no longer have offices to occupy, people to see, appointments to keep, and decisions to make.

Kids, who have their iPod, TV, cell phone, and video game privileges suspended, find it hard to occupy their time with more than nail biting and moping.

What these suddenly freefalling spirits have in common is the inability to let their mud settle, as the Tao, the famous book of Chinese wisdom describes it. They fear silence, because something unexpected might sneak up on them.

And of course, this is natural, especially if we’re living an inauthentic life or one that is jam packed with superficialities. When reflexive routines stop, suddenly we’re confronted by nothing more than our inner voices.

Typically, these voices are dumb, if we’re not used to conversing with them. They recite trivialities, and cycle through the debris of our consciousness.

But when we’re graced with a suspension of the commonplace, this provides an opportunity to court our inner beings, as meditation practitioners know.

To be free of routine, beyond the reach of reinforcements, rewards and punishments, is incredibly refreshing.

We get a chance to ask interesting questions, such as “What am I?” and “What is meaningful?” and “How do I want to feel?” and “Where am I going in such a hurry?”

By living through the fear of silence, of stasis, of nothingness, we earn an opportunity to put fear aside, and this is a stunning achievement.

Knowing this is possible, at first momentarily, and then for longer periods, is empowering.

Our cars, 401k plans, business and social importance are significant only inasmuch as they have helped us to arrive at that special moment, when our mud settles, and at last, we can see through it and into ourselves and the infinite.

Dr. Gary S. Goodman, President of Customersatisfaction.com, is a popular keynote speaker, management consultant, and seminar leader and the best-selling author of 12 books, including Reach Out & Sell Someone®, You Can Sell Anything By Telephone! and Monitoring, Measuring & Managing Customer Service, and the audio program, “The Law of Large Numbers: How To Make Success Inevitable,” published by Nightingale-Conant. He is a frequent guest on radio and television, worldwide. A Ph.D. from USC’s Annenberg School, a Loyola lawyer, and an MBA from the Peter F. Drucker School at Claremont Graduate University, Gary offers programs through UCLA Extension and numerous universities, trade associations, and other organizations in the United States and abroad. He holds the rank of Shodan, 1st Degree Black Belt in Kenpo Karate. He is headquartered in Glendale, California, and he can be reached at (818) 243-7338 or at: gary@customersatisfaction.com.

These words of Thomas Edison have been gentle reminders to me during times of frustration when all I can see ahead of me is certain failure: Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

I remember the very first article I sold to a major newspaper. The first time I submitted it, his response was lukewarm. Yes it had merits but he pointed out all that was missing and made many suggestions for change. The second time, he made even more suggestions for change and I knew what was happening: he wanted to let me down easily and was trying to get rid of me. Taking the hint, I put my writing aside. Weeks later a friend asked me how the article was coming along and I explained that the editor wasn’t interested. She laughed and said that his comments meant that he had done half the work for me already. That was a shift in perception! I resubmitted the article with the recommended changes, the editor bought it, and I’ve been writing ever since.

Our challenge is to stay curious; keep an open mind on things we’ve put on the back burner, possibilities that we’ve dismissed. What can we now move up to the front burner? What are we willing to start now?

Reprint Rights: Ezine publishers may reprint this article, as long as the following information is included: the summary about the author and all links are active.

Dawn Brown, M.Ed. (Counseling) is a psychotherapist, international speaker, and author (That Perception Thing! and Expert Women Who Speak…Speak Out!). Her new book Been There, Done That… Now What? is available at http://www.beentheredonethatnowwhat.com and http://www.amazon.com. For more information about her services visit http://www.perceptionshift.com